MSN Movies Blog: The Big Picture: Blog

The Imax experience

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:28:06 GMT

For many of you, tonight is the night you've been waiting for. The Dark Knight is released into I-Max cinemas tonight. And if you're lucky enough to have booked yourself a ticket, you are in for an experience unlike any other.

When I reviewed the film, I probably gushed more than I ever have. I do tend to take a positive attitude to films (usually - sorry POTC fans), but I've never heaped this much praise on a film.

It's worth noting, however, that I did see the film in 2D Imax. I was lucky enough to bag a seat right in the centre of the Waterloo Imax theatre. I was completely immersed. I quite literally could not see anything except a gigantic wall of beautiful high-definition Dark Knight.

Did this affect my judgement of the film for the better? I hope not. I like to think that the critical side of my brain can keep its distance from the wow-factor tech side. But I can't be sure. All I can say is that the Imax version is simply amazing.

Christopher Nolan shot six sequences from The Dark Knight with gigantic Imax cameras. These things shoot film so sharp that you could project the screen over eight stories and it would still be just as defined.

The most amazing of these is the opening shot. This is quite literally the opening second of the film in which we fly over Gotham in high def. My heart rate shot up at this point. All I can say is that it's mind-blowing. Can you spot the other five sequences? I like to think I could.

So, in summary, it's well worth the extra money for the Imax version if you're lucky enough to live near one of these globe-like cinemas. The one I went to is so booked up that they've started running screenings at 5am for Bat-fans that demand the Imax version. Set your alarms and get there people!

Reckon it's gonna be good?!

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:59:31 GMT

A few early critical quotes from The Dark Knight.

"The Godfather of comic book movies" - Kevin Smith

"The Dark Knight will stun and surprise, delight and terrify" - The Times

"Ledger makes the Joker his, imbuing the character with such menace and genuine insanity I finally got a sense of what talent he really had." - Film Threat

"Watching The Dark Knight is like gazing into a mirror on a waning moon night: chilling and mesmerizing." - Denver Post.

Speaking of which, I'm off to see it right now!!!!

CAN - NOT - WAIT!

Tarantino Pairs Pitt and Leo?!

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 15:42:50 GMT

I'm getting beyond excited about Quentin Tarantino's new film, Inglorious Bastards. Rumours have been circulating today that Tarantino has met with Brad Pitt to get him for the lead and is in talks with Leonardo DiCaprio to play the antagonist: what a pair!

Tarantino has been working on this script, a 600-page, three-part epic originally, since before filming Kill Bill, and he's called it his best written work ever. The movie is supposed to be a war drama meets spaghetti western, which sounds like something only Tarantino could pull off. Shooting begins in the fall- it should be glorious!

Two Sherlocks: Sheer Luck?

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:49:37 GMT

Guy Ritchie's marriage may or may not be failing, and now it seems his career has got some competition as well. Robert Downey Jr. has just signed on to play Sherlock Holmes in Ritchie's movie adaptation of the classic Sherlock Holmes books, but simultaneously Judd Apatow (The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up) announced that he will direct Sascha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell in another Holmes tale!

Cohen will play Holmes with funnyman Ferrell starring as his sidekick, Watson. The two previously co-starred in Talladega Nights. Ritchie has said his version will be more adventure-based, but can the Iron Man compete with Borat's banter? It's a mystery only the great Sherlock Holmes could solve, my dear Watson.

SO MANY Sequels (Including 30 You Haven't Heard Of)!

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:02:48 GMT

Hi there : ) My name is Lauren Zima - I'm a trainee from the US and I'm blogging in Ed's absence while he's on holiday.

I read today that sequels to Kung Fu Panda and Wanted are already in the works. Add this to the Iron Man 2 and Sex and the City 2 AND 3 films that have recently been planned, and it's easy to see that this is the summer of superfluous sequel set-ups.

Why, I ask, can a good film never just be left alone anymore?? The second a movie makes money, a sequel is planned. What's next- Titanic 2? I wouldn't be surprised, despite the lack of life on the main characters' parts. For your interest/annoyance, here's a list of thirty upcoming Hollywood sequels, threequels, and more. To give you a sample: Ace Ventura 3 and Jurassic Park 4 are included. Much like the dinosaurs, these sequels should be extinct.

Quantum Trailer: Seen It Yet?

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:31:05 GMT

If you haven't seen the Quantum Of Solace trailer yet, you haven't been anywhere near our website. We have been making an ENORMOUS song and dance about this over the course of the week. As far as I'm concerned, it's the biggest trailer of the year. I've been closely following Quantum Of Solace since visiting the set in February - and now I'm counting down the days until October 31. Even if the sky-high budget does lead to action overload, it's gonna be spectacular!

If you're yet to experience the joy of this thing, just click right here.

This was a global exclusive trailer launch with MSN. Irritatingly it leaked in the states and appeared on certain sites illegitimately a few hours before we went live, meaning our exclusive lost some momentum. Nevertheless we were quick to react and bring it forward as a result. Having posted it on just about every available patch of the network, I simply spent the day watching it - over and over and over again. Go Craig!

Busy! Busy! Busy!

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:08:10 GMT

Sorry for the lack of posts but things have been EXTREMELY hectic of late. All of a sudden MSN Movies UK seems to have become a particularly desirable patch of the internet and I'm running around like a maniac trying to ensure that everyone has enough space to pitch their tent!

The Dark Knight people have been on the phone today offering us a pretty cool exclusive. The result is this amazing bit of video that has me possibly even more excited than I was before. Heath Ledger's Joker is looking a-*******-mazing.

Only yesterday, I had none other than Bond director Marc Forster on the phone. I was lucky enough to bag an exclusive chat with Marc because MSN will exclusively be hosting the new Quantum Of Solace Trailer from next Monday!

Yes! That's right - at exactly 5 pm on Monday 30th - the Quantum Of Solace trailer will be exclusively on MSN Movies so be here then! It's a big scoop for us so I'm chuffed.

Okay I'm doing 12 things at once and the computer is about to break so I'd better check out! Back soon!

I'll take a hand-carved Kenyan Homer please!

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:19:51 GMT

Film memorabilia isn't really my bag. But, if you want an entirely unique and wonderfully ethical reminder of last year's Simpsons flick, you may want to direct your attention in the direction of craft village uk.

Yes, that genuinely is a unique hand-carved Homer crafted by a talented individuals in Kisii Tabaka, South West Kenya. The fantastic Craft Village initiative has been developing unique sculptures and nurturing this project since 2004. Having acquired a license from Fox to trade in Simpsons figures, they're going great guns as well as bringing welcome trade to a poor area of rural Africa. A carver earns four times as much producing one of these as they would were they carving their traditional statues.

The coolest thing about the figures is that they're absolutely unique due to their being hand-carved by an individual, who will sign the statue. Check out the site. This may well be the beginning of my burgeoning memorabilia collection!

Blu Horizons

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:20:40 GMT

Having spent a couple of years on a major DVD mag, I'm wary of anything to do with 'Home Entertainment'. But it can no longer be ignored - the time has come to embrace Blu-Ray. HD-DVD has long thrown in the towel and the platform of the next generation is here!

Fortunately, I've managed to lay hands on a player and it's yielding some pretty impressive results. Any doubts I may have held are being steadily reversed.

Let's start with the Blu-Ray disc for Rambo that recently came out. Where the film could only really shoot things and blow them up, the disc offers a huge array of stuff and cool new toys. Before you've even selected anything, the quick-fire menu system is already impressive.

Besides the usual audio commentary tracks you had with DVD, there's now a video commentary track that shows behind the scenes footage in a little 'daughter window' as you watch the main action on-screen. I was worried I'd become cross-eyed at first but it settles into a great overall experience. The simplicity of the explosive on-screen action is juxtaposed by the more challenging material in the behind-the-scenes window.

Furthermore there are the kind of documentary features we used to find on DVD (Sly demonstrates a genuine sensitivity to the plight of Burmese people here) but in much greater quantity. There's endless things to watch on this thing - and, although I was a cynic at first, I have to admit that the high-def looks pretty stunning.

So - yes - I'm a convert. Time to come round to the high-def revolution after all methinks.

How do we cover Teeth?

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:15:47 GMT

We're a nice movies site, okay? Our forays into the ultra-violent, ultra-sexual and ultra-controversial are occasional and, generally, extremely cautious. In fact we're so wary of these things that I'm acutely concerned about using the word 'vagina'. But there it is, I just wrote it. I'll do it again: v-a-g-i-n-a.

Okay so that's one hurdle crossed. It's necessary because I've been fretting this morning over how to cover new dark comedy Teeth. It's impossible to report this flick without somehow explaining its premise: essentially a girl who has an extra set of gnashers in her... well I've already typed it twice.

First time I heard about it I scoffed in a rather British and easily-offended way, dismissing it as a B-Movie sold entirely on shock value. But reviews net-wide have shown told us that it's actually rather good and, at times, extremely funny.

Turns out I was too quick to dismiss Teeth's edgy backstory as trash. Apparently, the phenomenon of the double-toothed lady is found in the mythologies of various cultures. It also appears frequently in surrealist and contemporary art. Sigmund Freud even referred to it, saying that the phenomenon signified the fear of castration in the male. The phenomenon even has a latin name: Vagina Dentata. Crikey that's three times!

Anyway, seems we can no longer ignore it - photos and trailer for Teeth right here.

Thanks Tom!

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:09:10 GMT

We've been feeling all nostalgic today. In fact, we've been feeling so nostalgic that we've remembered how much we love Tom Cruise.

The Cruiser recently celebrated 25 years of leading film appearances. Yes it has been a quarter century - spanning the majority of my existence - since that fresh-faced all-american grin first appeared in Risky Business. Remember VHS? Remember when you first discovered that it's possible to watch a film over and over and over again? The film I watched, literally hundreds of times upon that discovery, was Top Gun. And I thank le Cruise for making it the preening masterpiece it is.

We've dug out some of the best pictures from those years and slapped them together right here.

But it would be rude not to alert you guys to Tom's version - check out his snazzy new site, along with brilliant montage video and message from the man himself right here!

Geeking it up with Guillermo

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 11:34:24 GMT

I met Guillermo Del Toro yesterday! He introduced me and a small crowd of equivalent journo types to ten minutes of Hellboy II: The Golden Army before stopping in for a quick natter.

Very encouraged by the ten minutes of footage from Hellboy. The sequence we were shown was the full version of a scene that can be spotted in the most recent trailer: It's the segment in which an insect from another dimension attacks Red, Liz and Abe. They're called 'tooth fairies' - they go for the teeth first - and there's billions of 'em. In his introduction, Del Toro explained that the effects were incomplete: "You're gonna see some funky ones," he said. I barely noticed: I can tell you now that the CG 'tooth fairies' are far more convincing than the giant ants in Indy 4 and more scary.

That said, I did note that the 'huge hive of killer bugs' effect seems to be a particularly popular one amongst CGI types. I think I first saw it in Silent Hill during a very effective 'hell' sequence. Then it popped up again in King Kong and now these two. Despite the quality of these bugs, I felt a slight pang of familiarity somehow.

I'm afraid I can't reveal the exact details of the interview for now. It was what we call a 'round table' meaning that the talent (Guillermo) can give out interviews to a batch of journos in a single sitting. We had to wait for about an hour before he arrived, during which time it became apparent that I was sat at the most sci-fi enthusiastic table I have ever known. The conversation quickly turned to whether Captain America's shield appears in Iron Man's workshop - and that was the lightest of the conversation. I remained silent, hoping my horrific lack of knowledge in such fields wouldn't show.

As it turned out, Guillermo was absolutely at home in these circumstances. "Who's from Den Of Geek?" he demanded loudly upon arrival in his brilliant Mexican accent, confessing his love for the cult site. The man was able to converse on the most detailed level of geek-dom and I have to admit I was highly impressed. His love for the comic book material became extremely clear during the chat and I have to admit I was highly impressed and utterly outclassed. I think the passion of the man for the subject matter will really come out in Hellboy 2 - this looks to be the comic book Summer flick with, crucially, a difference. Seen the latest trailer yet?

May Mailbag

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:37:44 GMT

Thanks to all of you who've been filling the message boards and the blogspace with fun, feedback and inflammatory messages over the past thirty days.

This month saw the release of one of the most audience-dividing movies in living memory: yes, it was Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. My outlook was positive. There were undoubtedly dodgy moments but the overall result was satisfying. Of course, not all of you agreed:

"Something was amiss....I took my 12 year old along, who, like me, is a big Indy trilogy fan. However i didn't get the storyline, a befuddled chariots of the gods affair that left me scratching my head. Halfway through the movie I looked at my son and he looked back. All I saw in his eyes was a child lost in this mire.

"I'm very disappointed. Harrison keeps his good looks and is still an excellent Indiana but the plot is too much and I was already regretting having spent my money by the second half of the movie."

But some of you saw the positive side, refusing to buy into the negativity:

"People go to see these types of movies as a form of escapism. My point is that he (Spielberg) makes entertaining films that capture the audience's imagination. Go with it!"

There were two other heavyweights in May, both of which had you clicking. They were of course Iron Man and Sex And The City: The Movie.

On Iron Man, of which I was somewhat damning, this was probably the reaction that summed up the Iron fans' argument:

"You don't go to see a super hero movie for the intellectual and thought provoking elements, you just go for the ride."

Sex And The City has been taken as the battle of the sexes to a large extent. I wrote about the emasculating effect the film had on me. Thanks to you guys for this reassuring feedback...

"If it makes you feel any better. I'm a woman and I hated SATC. I've never had to sit through girlfriends moaning about their successful careers, loving partners and hours of great sex for two hours before so the film was a real eye opener. Luckily I can change a car wheel, rewire a plug, tile a bathroom and fit a ceiling light so I'll swap you. Your female time for my blokey bits. It all kinda evens out."

Keep posting! Thanks guys...

Sometimes it's easy to be... a woman

Thu, 29 May 2008 16:26:50 GMT

I just read this article that appeared on the MSN homepage. It says that the modern male is more adept at ironing than he is at changing a plug or, god forbid, getting his togs greasy by looking under the bonnet of a car. I was worried, but not for the reasons suggested here. I'm comfortable with my inability to effectively put up a set of shelves or change a starter motor. I'm even okay with my steadily increasing use of moisturiser. No. What really scares me is the fact that I went to see the Sex And The City Movie yesterday.

And I liked it.

Surely it is my duty as a red-blooded hunter-gatherer to despise this pink, fluffy, talcum-puffed lump of cocktail-soaked femininity. Surely I should have sat there shouting, "So where's the bloody sex then!" at the screen, all the while remarking on ways in which they could all solve their problems by dropping their careers and hitting the kitchen, like that dark-haired one with cute behind - Charlotte. She's got the idea.

But no, I empathised with them, wishing them well in their quest for love and security alongside their handbags and credit cards. To my shock, I even felt a tear forming in the back of my eye at one point. I batted it away. I had brought the lady along with me so I would be able to tell friends that I was only there because she had wanted to see it. My other excuse was that I HAD to see it because of work - this review in fact. I was covered.

As the review says, there is a lot to criticise about the SATC project. By the time I sat down to write it, I had recovered some of my hairy-chinned cynicism resolving to give it three stars out of five. And it was lucky not to have been given two. The reality was though that, whilst watching Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte, my metrosexuality had reached new heights. I had been entirely suckered into a state of unwitting faux-femininity by these bastions of designer clothing and pink champagne. It was a catastrophe.

Some masculine therapy is required: beer, football, more beer and a violent movie. Then maybe I'll go really nuts and try changing that plug...

Well I Loved It!

Fri, 23 May 2008 12:29:08 GMT

Less of a blog entry by itself this one than it is an addition to Dave McCoy's Indy 4 review, posted on the twentieth. I think this brilliantly shows how the new whip-cracker has divided critical opinion. As you can read in Dave's review, he wasn't a fan. I, on the other hand, loved it.

Here's my review.

The funny thing is that, when I read Dave's review, I can absolutely see the logic and the reasoning behind his points. In a very strange way, I almost agree with him in fact! I know it sounds weird but perhaps you'll see what I mean when you go and see it as, no doubt, thousands of you will.

It reached your local cineplex yesterday so please post your thoughts right here on the blog.

Thanks!

Indy: The View From Cannes

Tue, 20 May 2008 16:46:45 GMT

I'm off to see Indy 4 in a minute. I've tried not to read any of the (negative?) press that's been floating about on the net. The official review will be posted on the site tomorrow morning. For now though, here's the outlook from my US counterpart Dave McCoy who was lucky enough to catch a screening at Cannes.

Here's Dave's write-up: Gotta go.

By Dave McCoy
MSN Movies Lead Editor

If you've been following the prelude to today's worldwide premiere of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" (for the next few hundred words, we'll call it "Indy 4," OK?) here at Cannes, you probably thought I'd be delivering a juicy tale about how another slick Hollywood product got destroyed on the Croisette. You've probably heard about the vicious (if merited) receptions that "The Da Vinci Code" and "X-Men: The Last Stand" received here in 2006. And every trade paper and internet site, from London to Los Angeles to some moron's room in Austin, Texas, predicted the same treatment for Indy. One London paper said if Indy truly feared snakes, he should stay out of the den full of them at Cannes. Cute.

The outlook for Indy's French arrival didn't get much better when leaked reviews hit the Web last week and deemed the film a disaster. All the makings for a classic Cannes debacle were in place. And then something strange happened ...

The movie began, lasted two hours, ended and ... nothing. As the lights went down, a few folks in the balcony cheered and began serenading the screen with the film's theme song. When the lights came up, those same fans cheered. And the rest, the other couple thousand people packed into the Lumiere Theatre -- many of whom nearly trampled one another to get into the horribly organized screening? We, they, quietly stood up and filed out. The behavior was the same during the film: quiet, still, languid. Now, if we were watching a Ken Burns documentary, that wouldn't be uncommon.

Sadly that was what I experienced during "Indy 4." I didn't laugh much (there is a great prop joke about 10 minutes in and another snake gag that works), never felt exhilarated or had that incredible sense of "Oh, wow! That was cool!" That wave of nostalgia never washed over me when Indy first appeared. Nor did the absolutely incomprehensible plot either challenge or annoy me. I stopped trying to figure it out rather quickly, but there was nothing to distract me this time. Seriously, explain the plot of "Raiders" or "Temple of Doom." Go. I didn't think so ... it doesn't matter because the rest of those movies compensated for the convoluted plots.

But now, it's been several hours since I saw "Indy 4," and the only thing I can really say for certain is perhaps the most damning thing you can say about any action/adventure film: It's boring. And in fact, if I don't finish writing about it soon, I'm in serious trouble, because I won't remember it tomorrow. (I'm not kidding; I saw another film after "Indy 4" and I'm really having a tough time here, kids).

Before you say, "Well, Dave, you obviously don't like the series" -- well, I do. I own it, I love it and I can tell you exactly where I was the first time I saw all three films. So, even though I was skeptical of 65-year-old Harrison Ford donning the hat-and-whip combo again (oh, there is a salacious Calista joke in there, but I digress) and having to watch another one of George Lucas' ideas, the kid in me was excited. I just wanted to have fun. Silly me.

(One thing before moving on: I'm not going to tell you about the film's plot. First off, I don't want to spoil anything. Secondly, I'd need a huge chalkboard and some algebra equations to break it down for you. And I hate algebra. Quickly: Everyone is looking for an artifact called the Crystal Skull. It has powers. Sound familiar?)

Things start out promising. The film opens in 1957 in the Nevada desert. A car full of teens zooms along a road, blaring "Hound Dog," and comes across a military convoy. What we notice but they don't is that the soldiers are Russian, not American. The teens want a challenge, the Russians are game and soon we are watching the Cold War summed up as one big drag race ... until the convoy veers right, heads down another road and with that turn, the only clever idea vanishes. Soon, we're in a mammoth warehouse, where Indy is reintroduced to us by being tossed from a trunk. Surrounded by Russians, including leader Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett, looking better as a Betty Page persona than Bob Dylan, but not quite nailing that Russian accent), Indy doesn't waste time reminding us why we fell in love with him in the first place. "We've been in worse spots before, Indy," says his old friend Mac (Ray Winstone). "We were younger," quips Dr. Jones, thus starting a bunch of running "Hey, isn't he too old to be doing this?" self-reflexive jokes.

But the thing is, Ford doesn't look ancient. He looks great, still fills the hat and punches like a drunk bastard at closing time (doesn't use the whip enough, though). The problem with "Indy 4" isn't that the actor has aged -- it's the formula that feels ancient. The structure for Indy films was always the same: huge action set piece, some silly plot, another action sequence, some fun characters and clever lines, more crazy action, massive finale that makes no sense but leaves us high. "Indy 4" is almost exclusively action, with zero story (convoluted plot is not story) and a teeny splash of characters -- Shia LaBeouf is the only major addition, playing Indy's sidekick, Mutt Williams ... hang on... laughing fit... OK. Actually, he's fairly engaging. I guess. Poor Karen Allen, however, is given nothing to do.

The first scene goes on for a full reel. There is a car chase in a Peruvian jungle that leads up to the film's finale. I swear it runs over 30 minutes. Is it occasionally impressive? Yeah, when it comes to technique, director Steven Spielberg is an action-sequence master. But it's void of any context or emotional resonance. The sequences are more exhausting than exhilarating, and feel like a dry run for a future theme-park ride (too bad Disney didn't make this, I guess). And that finale? I never really got mad at the film until its big climax, which is so laugh-out-loud lame that only George Lucas could conceive it.

But, regardless, nothing I've written matters here. Before you started reading this, you knew whether or not you'd stand in line for Indy's return and join him on his latest adventure. I get it ... I would have too. But all I can say is this: Consider yourself warn ... yawn ... zzzzzzz.

Remember the days...

Tue, 13 May 2008 12:15:38 GMT

...of going to a shop and renting a movie. I haven't done it in ages! If I ever scan shelves of DVDs nowadays, I'm firmly in the buyer's market. If I'm gonna rent something, it's going to be online.

I should mention at this point that we have an online rental partnership with lovefilm.com. And I can assure that I am free of corporate bias or backhanders when I say that they are ace. Here's the link from our site.

Anyway, back to the main point. I will lament the death of the video rental store. There's a real sadness to watching Mos Def and Jack Black in Be Kind Rewind. The pair of video store employeses are forced to start filming their own versions of popular blockbusters in order to pull back the old clients.

Anyways, on the funny side, the demise of the rental shop has been brilliantly satirised here by The Onion. Give it a watch.

Would you pay to see a documentary?

Fri, 09 May 2008 15:49:40 GMT

So I just listened back to the most recent MSN Entertainment Podcast in which I'm invited to kick off some discussion relating to the week's biggest film release. The 'biggest' release of this week is actually The Wachowski Brothers' Speed Racer. But there wasn't really much to say about that isn't already here in Neil Smith's review. So, instead I opted for the far more chat-inducing and, in my opinion, far more interesting option of Morgan Spurlock's Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden.

I was a big fan of the documentary, despite it's obvious flaws. First of all, it's a very misleading title. This is not a full-blooded attempt to find the world's most wanted man. Of course it isn't. One guy and a camera cannot possibly hope to succeed where the security forces of The Western World have failed. Secondly, there's a weak link between the quest and Spurlock's personal life. He attempts to lend the cross-continental Bin Laden hunt a 'time clock' by cutting in his wife's pregnancy: he has to get home before she pops the sprog. The personal angle worked on Supersize Me. But, with every respect to Mrs Spurlock, it seemed a tiny tad irrelevant here.

Nonetheless, where Spurlock succeeds is in making a point about Islam. One interviewee points out that a fifth of the world is Islamic and that a climate of fear such as that which exists now could lead to four fifths of the world being afraid of the remainder. We're reminded of the similarities between the cultures of supposed 'extremist training grounds' and those of our own countries. These are people trapped between the crazies that tarnish their names and the foreign forces who show up to hunt the terrorists.

Spurlock visibly aims to make the documentary into a piece of cinema. The poster below mimics Indiana Jones and the film itself has those 'plane flying over the map' shots from The Last Crusade. This is a documentary for the big screen. Spurlock cinematic leanings aside, I still wonder if the documentary format belongs on TV and DVD. I'm an enormous fan of feature documentary (Michael Moore included) and I absolutely would pay my own hard-earned to watch this documentary. But would you? Please click the little 'add comment' button at the bottom of this and let us know whether you think that documentaries belong on the big screen.

Wow! Just... wow!

Tue, 06 May 2008 12:19:27 GMT

People have been gathered round my desk this morning watching the latest Batman trailer. I've said many times on this blog that Dark Knight is the most exciting prospect of the year for me.

The new trailer is currently hosted on one of the Dark Knight's viral marketing sites. Head over here and be amazed!

April Mailbag

Thu, 01 May 2008 17:14:00 GMT

It's that time again folks. A veritable torrent of discussion has taken place around the sprawling network of MSN Movies. So what on earth have people been saying?

Let's start with a positive shall we?

Thanks to Alex for this:

"I thank you dearly for the slice of humour I illicited from your video. Your expression when he hit on your trainee said it all. You, my friend, are a legend."

Guess which interview this was about? Yes it was Russell Brand, who was far more keen on poor Shannon than he was on actually going through with his interview for Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

And slightly less thanks to 'limegreenukel', who wasn't nice:

"Oh my god that interviewer is so rubbish. "Tell us a bit about your character.. blah blah" Where did you think that one up Mr. Interviewer? Cutting edge journalism. How has he got a trainee?"

Oh well - you win some you lose some. Never mind. On to Iron Man, which I wasn't such a fan of. Some of the more positively-minded amongst you took issue with my largely negative review.

'Jax' said this.

"You don't go to see a super hero movie for the intellectual and thought provoking ride of your life, you just go for the ride. Perhaps someone else should take over this movie review blog, someone, for a start who doesn't fall asleep during movies."

I think a few people missed the point here, confusing a blog entry for the actual review - I'll try to be clearer on this in future.

You thought WHAT?!

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:50:40 GMT

"So, Ed what did you think of Iron Man?"

"Meh..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, to be honest, I thought it was a bit rubbish."

That was this morning, first thing. And it's made for a bit of a funny day. I wrote up my review post-haste and it can be read right here. I absolutely understand if you cant be bothered to read that. The short version is that I didn't like it. Not one bit.

The problem is that last night's screening was a very massive one in a very massive cinema - the kind where every PR and studio exec shows up besides the usual clutch of critics, pundits and clingers-on. Most of these people are in the business of promoting films rather than actually assessing. Needless to say, they were enthused - blinkered against the woeful lack of originality and absolutely enthralled by the 'spectacular!' of Iron Man. Many of them have been on the blower and the email today.

"So that was amazing that Iron Man eh?"

"Actually I wasn't a fan."

There's a surprised 'Oh!' at this point. The subtext of that is thus: "YOU THOUGHT WHAT?! ARE YOU MENTAL?! DID YOU ACTUALLY HAVE YOUR EYES OPEN YOU SQUID-BRAINED IMBECILE?! THE GUY TURNED HIMSELF INTO A KICK-ARSE IRON SUPERHERO!!!! WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE????!!"

The problem is that Iron Man marks the beginning of SUMMER - a mythical point at which the film industry starts making serious cash. All the industry types can see at this point is bar charts pointing drastically upwards as the slow awards season comes to a close and 'SUMMER' starts. It's box-office party time and critical types such as myself have a really irritating tendency to stick in the mud. Why can't we just get 'on board' with all the 'buzz' and get behind it all?

Well, because it's our job. And despite Iron Man being a disappointment, it'll still do well. That trailer is a masterpiece!

Russell: He Sure Lives Up To His Name

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:18:41 GMT

We love to steal free work from unsuspecting young people in the media. We gleefully prey upon their enthusiasm, shovelling labour their way under the weak disguise of 'industry experience'.

So we were delighted then, when about three months ago, an exchange program brought us three smiling young things from The University Of Missouri in the US. Shannon, Stephanie and Ambika, all of whom are studying journalism, have been brilliant.

Anyways, Shannon is studying broadcast journalism. So, before she jets home, I thought I'd better take her along to a film junket. Luckily I had a five minute spot with Russell Brand for Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The people at the junket were kind enough to let Shannon sit in on the interview. I did inform my 'trainee' of Mr Brand's reputation for womanising (even using the phrase 'Britain's number one shag artist').

But poor Shannon never suspected that Russell would zero in on her the minute she poked her head around the door. He was so keen on Shannon that we decided to leave his advances towards her in the video.

Needless to say, he wasn't the slightest bit interested in me!

CHECK IT OUT HERE...

Trailer to be turned into full length movie!

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:50:54 GMT

I often check out this site - theonion.com for funny alternative news footage. So I was delighted to find some movie satire on there this week.

Looks like the Iron Man trailer will become a full length movie! Shocker!

March Mailbag

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:10:54 GMT

Thanks to all of you who fed back to us in the month of March. I'd like to say that it was a rip-roaring month full of intrigue, events and astonishing films. But I'd be lying really. Following the hullaballa of awards season and the Oscars, the movies calendar traditionally slips into something of a slow patch during March.

That said, 10,000 BC, The Other Boleyn Girl and Lars And The Real Girl were all out to alleviate the springtime doldrums. But what were you lot chatting back to us about?

The confirmation of Pirates four and five sparked some debate. I'm a self-confessed Jack-hater so I obviously didn't have a positive outlook on the swag-fest to come in 2010 and beyond. Obviously this didn't help make me too popular.

"I will still probably watch the 4th and 5th films simply for the Jack Sparrow character but nothing will beat the first movie," says Aly.

"I would love to see the films go on for a long time, but really hope they learn the Bond method and let each film tell its only tale," says Gino.

Thanks to Lola for taking my side:

"I agree with the writer of this in so far as I think the only reason these movies have been greenlit is because of the obscene amount of money the trilogy has made, regardless of the quality of the content."

Thanks guys. Keep it coming!

Viral Schmiral

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:14:22 GMT

Yesterday was April Fool's Day and there was an awful lot of web-buzz going on around The Dark Knight's viral campaign. The one most hyped, and seized upon by godzillions of bat-fans was The Joker's viral site which can be seen at clowntravelagency.com.

I have to say it was a bit of a disappointment. I'm as excited about Dark Knight as anyone, but all this 'viral' puzzle offered was an outside chance of winning a bowling ball. And, rather worryingly, you have to hand over your phone number and email address to get even that far - a hammy automated phone call from Police Commissioner Gordon isn't really enough to make the whole thing feel worthwhile.

Warners need to reward fans for their commitment. A Joker viral puzzle leading to a sneak peak at the big bat/joker showdown. THAT sounds worth clicking your mouse for. This just felt like buzzword-orientated committee thinking.

I beg your pardon General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper!

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:09:28 GMT

Good god no!

I was so shocked when I read this that I blurted it out loud across the office.

"Bloody hell they're only making a Hans Solo spin-off with Harrison Ford!"

The stars of the eighties have entirely lost their shame. If Harrison can return to Indian Jones, why not go the whole hog and cash in on Hans Solo too?! For Shame!

"Hey Ed mate, believe you me, money is ALWAYS better than pride," said Ents manager Mike. And I can see his point. Only, when you're Harrison Ford, it's surely not a massive requirement.

Anyways, folks it looks like it's really happening - I suspect some dark dealings on the part of the evil Lord Lucas, who has a hand in the Indy franchise besides this. Here's the full story as witnessed over at moviehole.net.

“Han Solo”, based on a script by “Star Wars” veteran Carrie Fisher, will tell of the Space Pirate’s post-“Return of the Jedi” life – his rocky relationship with Leia, their mischievous Jedi-training twins, and principally, Solo’s ongoing battle with The Hutt’s, says BrokenDroid.com.

“Harrison has always said he wouldn’t do another Star Wars movie – particularly the sequels to Return of the Jedi”, says producer. “When we presented him an idea to star in a Han Solo movie though, that was different. This would be Solo’s story, not Luke [Skywalker’s] – and once we told him the story, he was in. But more so, Carrie Fisher wrote the first draft, and knocked it out of the park”.

Ford describes the film as “thrilling, but packed with adventure and still connected to the world George [Lucas] invented. Han is still his arrogant, cheeky self”.

Ford will begin work on “Han Solo” after completing the upcoming “What Lies Beneath” sequel. Fox has sked to film for a 2011 release. A director is yet to be announced.

Some French Films You Should See...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:01:55 GMT

With Nicolas Sarkozy's arrival and England's footie team playing at Stade De France, there's a an abounding sense of Franco-Englishness about today's news.

So, tenuously, I thought I'd join in with a blink-and-you'll-miss-it look at some of the best French films to come my way over the last few years.

La Haine

Made in 1995 and re-released in 2004, 'Hate' must be one of the best portraits of teenage criminality. A young Vincent Cassel is a hoodlum in the ghettos of Paris. As rioting ensues and tensions with the racist police force reach breaking point, Cassel comes across a hand gun and vows to kill a cop.

Comparable to 2000 Rio De Janeiro masterpiece City Of God, it's shot in black and white with handheld cameras, diving into the youth's empoverished hangouts with startling reality and brutal accuracy. To watch it during the North Paris rioting of 2004 was to fully understand the gravity of the situation there.

Amelie

I've sung the praises of Jean-Pierre Jeunet's finest hour on this blog and in just about every publication I've ever worked in. When trying to capture the delight of watching Audrey Tautou's quest for l'amour in Paris, the word I keep coming back to is 'French-ness'.

It is just extremely French, and all the more delightful for its stripe-wearing, baguette-eating, bicycle-riding simplicity. I've forgotten all my experiences of the real Paris, replacing them with this rose-tinted vision. Bravo Monsieur Jeunet!

Cache

Conveniently, I finally got round to watching this psychological thriller just last night. It's actually directed by a German - esteemed art-lenser Michael Haneke. But it's very much a french production starring Daniel Auteuil and Juliette Binoche as a couple beset by a stalker that posts them videos of their own house. The box was covered in 5 star ratings and I was strapped in for some intensive mind-bending. It didn't really happen actually - this was far too slow to be called a 'thriller'.

That said, the dramatic dialogue is fantastic. The only problem is there's rather a lot of it. Despite their excellent performances, I tired somewhat of Binoche and Auteuil's many scenes in which they'd sit around and act miffed at each other. In horror terms, however, it's an excellent study in fear of what we can't see - well worth checking out but not for those 21st Century types with 12-minute attention spans.

La Vie En Rose

Every bit deserving of the attention thrown its way by Marrion Cotillard's Oscar win this year, La Vie En Rose is a royally plush production besides a world-beating performance. Following the life of singing superstar Edith Piaf, it's tragic and touching in equal and frequent spoonfuls as we jump around the chronology of the singer's life. Not convinced? Check out the clips on our database page.

Etre Et Avoir

Probably my favourite documentary. Little known to most of France let alone the British audience, this beautifully simple fly-on-the-wall piece tells of a tiny mountain primary school where the pupils are taught every subject by a single teacher. Life is tough for the small rural community as we follow the kids through struggles both personal and academic. But 'Monsieur' is always there for them. The genuinely amazing calmness and wisdom of Georges Lopez makes it all amazingly inspiring. Seek it out... I guarantee you'll love it.

The New Movies!

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:41:44 GMT

Yes folks, it's a new movies site! The differences between our flashy new product and the old MSN Movies appear slight at first but this is a way more advanced product with a lot more depth than we've ever had before and a load of cool new toys.

First of all there's now a video on every single page on the site. Just hit the the big play button on the right and there'll be a video relevant to the page you're looking at. You can also click video links that will pop us funky daughter windows.

Also on the high-tech video front, we're carrying a video homepage where all the latest trailers and clips can be found. Also available on there is moviefix - our one-stop week-by-week guide to the best stuff at your local cinema.

There's a weight of articles, reviews blogs and opinion flowing through the movies site these days. Reviews, features and columns have been separated out into their own archives where you can access a host of new writing. Our three movie blogs (including this one) are also right there on the homepage.

What's more, you'll notice much smarter galleries and feature pages, cool extras such as battles and quizzes, and a much smoother running movies experience all round. It's been a lot of work and we're proud of it. But we're always keen to know what you think. Please give us your comments here...

The Pirates 4 They SHOULD make.

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:14:06 GMT

News reached our ears this week that Pirates 4 has got the green light and is set for 2011. Obviously, this is a gigantic catastrophe. The fourth and fifth instalments have been floating around the movie news bowl for well over a year now. Johnny Depp made it pretty clear last year that it was likely to happen with this:

"Doing the 'Pirates...' movies has been an absolute blast. I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have had such a great experience. If I walk away from Jack now, I'll walk away with some amazing memories. But the end of the third movie leaves open the possibility of a fourth or fifth film, which I wouldn't be opposed to as an actor because I feel there is a lot more territory to explore with Captain Jack. I've never really felt I'm done with playing the character, so why shouldn't we try a fourth and a fifth?"

Sorry, a lot more 'territory'? A lot more cash more like. The Pirates movies have been steadily going downhill since their inception. The decline in watchability has been contrasted by a steep rise in the amount of moula they've made.

On the subject of unnecessary sequels, there's a herd of horrifically uncalled for seconds and thirds in production right now. Check them out here in our gallery.

When rubbish films, such as the muddled spectacle of At World's End, are successful, quality-checks fly out the window and yet more appallingly contrived sequels inevitably arrive. In light of the $ being made, Disney could never do the decent thing and kill this appalling series. But what should they do with it? Pirates 3 had so many ridiculous plot strands that sense or coherence has pretty much flown out the window at this point. So here are my ideas.

- The scariest sea monster ever threatens the world of the pirates. It's a giant Brian Blessed, and it is capable of drinking so much sea water that it can suck whole fleets of ships down into it's gut.

- Having been swallowed by the enormous Brian Blessed, captain Jack discovers a time machine in his back pocket. He plans to go forward in time where he can discover futuristic new weapons to defeat the monster. He zaps himself forwards to 2011.

- In modern-day London, the confused Jack's cocky swagger and outlandish clothes get him immediately spotted by British music magnate Simon Cowell. He is persuaded to audition for ITV's 'The X-Factor'.

- He walks into his audition and shouts "Ahoy there! I need to find to find a weapon that can defeat the evil Brian Blessed and rescue me mates! Savvy?" He's accepted as a comedy/vaudeville act and put through, eventually winning the whole show (they'll be pretty desperate for talent by 2011).

- Having won the day, Jack heads back to his own time where he discovers that everyone is still inside the giant Brian blessed, who turns out to be Captain Jack's grandad. On hearing about Jack's X-Factor success, The giant Brian Blessed is so touched that he spews everyone back out into the ocean. "That was an excellent performance!" says simon cowell. The end.

That random enough? Sounds like a pirates script to me!

Carmen Electra's behind and me...

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 13:39:17 GMT

A lot of publicity stunts are sent our way here. But I have to give a special shout out to this targeted marketing ploy from the creators of 300 spoof Meet The Spartans. Yes, they have put my name on Carmen Electra's ass. Such an effort surely deserves a blog entry.

http://www.celebritydumpster.co.uk/view.html?id=147422

Mailbag: February

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:19:52 GMT

Thanks to all of you who wrote into us during the tumultuous month that was February. Let's get straight to the big show shall we? Yes it was Oscars month and we were throwing the kitchen sink at the event with our enormous special. Here's what you guys said in response...

olivia hill
"It has to be johnny depp to win oscar i think he's a FANTASTIC actor!"

Daves
"Has to be Daniel Day Lewis for best actor . Just watched "There Will Be Blood" What a performance!!! That man is top class!!!!!!!"

Teppei
"Will Smith should have won for I am Legend. But not even a recognition."

Zoey73
"Oscars 2008 was the most boring and predictable event. That said, I love to watch the red carpet bit the. The dresses were nothing special apart from Best Actrss winner Marion Coutillard who thought outside the box with her Gaultier mermaid number - beautiful."

And finally this from Sharon.

"Not enought of Viggo's beard if you ask me WHAT A MAN!!!!!"

Moving on (I'm all Oscar-ed out for one year), there was a ton of reaction to Rambo and the massive violence it inflicted on the world (I wasn't a fan). But some of you guys were positive here.

"It's a film set in a war torn country, what do you expect - the sound of music......the action is very realistic and the film portrays the sort of things that go on in the world......if your a Rambo fan - you'll love it!"

"Aye it's brutal,but the scene in the jeep when he blasts that bloke into little bits is awesome."

Ooooooo---kay. Thanks for that everyone. Finally - the news that Bourne 4 is coming out caused hot-blooded debate.

"PLEASE dont let the creators get egotistical and attempt a 4th movie on the strength of this succes and be happy to accept that THE END is THE END!"

"The books and the films are very different, so i dont think they could carry that on (i reading the 3rd one now). But as much as i love the films anyway, i would rather there wasnt a 4th one."

"Legacy and Betrayal will more than likely happen, the first 3 were big money spinners, Can you see Hollywood ignoring that?"

Thanks everyone again, keep it coming!

Bourne 4?

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:01:41 GMT

Please no! It ended so well!

A story that appeared in Variety this week has set the internet alight with talk about Bourne 4 this week. Here's the paragraph from the article (about Universal's Studio bosses and their plans) that has caused all the palaver:

"More recently, Shmuger and Linde landed Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon for a fourth "Bourne" movie, even though the director and star seemed ready to wrap it up after three pics. And they landed Sam Raimi to return to horror with "Drag Me to Hell," starring Ellen Page."

Greengrass and Damon are allegedly already brainstorming ideas for a fourth Bourne script. But Matt seemed so content with the end of Bourne 3 that I find it hard to believe. Here's what he said when he propositioned him during our very own Ultimatum interview:

Us: Bourne 4 – The Musical?
Matt: That was my suggestion, it’s either got to be porn or a musical - re-ignite the franchise! (he sings) “they’re chasing me, they’re chasing me!"

He certainly didn't seem serious about the idea of a fourth Bourne movie at that point. So, if this is all true, something has to have changed his mind somewhere along the line. The one plus is that the Variety story sounds confident that Paul Greengrass is also involved.

If Bourne 4 is gonna happen, at least it'll be in safe hands. But I maintain that the ending was perfectly resolved at the end of Ultimatum - they'll struggle to avoid the feeling of a contrived jump start to the series.

Live Oscars Blog 2008

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:25:00 GMT

The soggy red carpet from the 80th Academy Awards can be packed away for another year as the movie ceremony is finally over. And while the A-listers hit the after-show parties with Lindsay Lohan, MSN brings you all the news from the glitzy awards show in our live blog and the MSN Oscars Special 2008.

The biggest winner of the evening was undoubtedly No Country For Old Men, which nabbed four awards – but Daniel Day-Lewis flew the flag for Britain by winning the Best Actor Oscar for his role on There Will Be Blood. So, who else won what? Did fan-favourite Juno come out on top? Did Atonement hack it? And what on Earth was going on with John Travolta's spray-on hair? Join our live blogger in Hollywood, Adam Tanswell, for all the answers.

But first, here's a complete list of winners...

Best film: No Country For Old Men

Best direction: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

Best actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Best actress: Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose

Best supporting actor: Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men

Best supporting actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Best original screenplay: Juno

Best adapted screenplay: No Country For Old Men

Animated feature film: Ratatouille

Original song: Falling Slowly from Once

Original score: Atonement

Foreign language film: The Counterfeiters, Austria

Cinematography: There Will Be Blood

Costume design: Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Documentary feature: Taxi To The Dark Side

Documentary short: Freeheld

Make-up: La Vie En Rose

Visual effects: The Golden Compass

Art direction: Sweeney Todd

Sound editing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Sound mixing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Film editing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Live-action short film: Le Mozart Des Pickpockets

Animated short film: Peter & The Wolf

4.45am

It's a wrap! No Country For Old Men wins the Best Director award for Joel and Ethan Coen. Joel is "thrilled" and the pair only make it to the side of the stage before they're told the film also nabs the Best Motion Picture statuette. It's the biggest winner tonight with four Oscars – but, shock horror, The Bourne Ultimatum comes next with three wins. How did that happen? Well, at least Norbit didn't win anything. And with that nugget of information, the whole ceremony comes to an abrupt halt as an air of anti-climax hits Hollywood. Game over for another year... Now, where's the party at?

4.35am

Things are getting serious as the Best Actor award is announced. Johnny Depp is chewing gum, George Clooney doesn't know where to look and Viggo Mortensen is sporting a dodgy beard. Who wins? Good old Daniel Day-Lewis, who looks a bit Jack Sparrow tonight with some pirate-style earrings. Strange. He kisses Clooney before heading up to the stage to accept the award.

4.25am

The kooky and uber-cool Diablo Cody is presented the award for Best Screenplay by Indiana Jones himself, Harrison Ford. Awesome! Well done, Diablo – a Hollywood newcomer who's not afraid to get her tattoos out. Bet she gets drunk tonight.

4.15am

Atonement wins its first Academy Award, which is for Best Original Score. It's a crowd pleaser. Best Documentary Short goes to Freeheld. More tears. Taxi To The Dark Side wins Best Documentary Feature. No tears.

4.05am

Cameron Diaz smiles as she stumbles on her autocue speech to announce the Best Cinematrography. The Oscar goes to There Will Be Blood. Cameron nips off – probably to brush her hair.

4am

The show must be running under schedule because Best Song winner Marketa Irglova is allowed back on stage to say thank you. Cue worthy speech on independent music. The audience goes wild. Nice.

3.55am

The best moment yet! John Travolta and his spray-on hair waltzes on to the stage (no joke!) at the end of the Enchanted musical number. He's on stage to announce the Best Song, which goes to Falling Slowly from the movie Once, which is composed by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. Big congrats to Dublin-born Glen. Bad luck to Marketa, who isn't allowed to say thanks. Her microphone is switched off and she's ushered off the stage.

3.50am

Time for another song and this time it's presented by Enchanted star Patrick Dempsey. It's a full-on Disney spectacle with dodgy Prince Charming costumes and bad wigs. Men shouldn't wear tights. Well, unless you're into that kind of thing.

3.45am

And the award for Best Foreign Language Film goes to The Counterfeiters. Applause. Speech. Next.

3.40am

Nicole Kidman presents an honorary award to 98-year-old production designer Robert Boyle, who is allowed to say the longest (and most boring) speech of the evening. Nicole smiles and it nearly breaks her forehead. Ouch.

3.30am

Renee Zellweger's eyes have disappeared. I'm surprised she can read the autocue. She awards The Bourne Ultimatum with its third Oscar of the evening, this time for Film Editing. Surely that's enough for Bourne now, right? Give someone else a chance.

3.25am

A husky Jack Nicholson swaps his sunnies for reading glasses to announce another short educational film. This time it's about all of the Best Film winners over the years. Honourable, but a little long. Is this another time filler? Perhaps they should've asked Miley Cyrus to sing a song or something to keep the interest up?

3.20am

Colin Farrell introduces another nominated song. This time it's Falling Slowly from Once. Simple, sweet and very effective. Perhaps the winner of the night? We'll have to wait and see...

3.15am

The first tears of the night. Marion Cotillard, who is speechless but still able to talk, triumphs with the Best Actress award. She's genuinely chuffed, which is sweet. Definitely the most sincere moment of the night so far.

3.10am

Forest Whitaker walks on stage to present the Best Actress award. Fingers crossed for Ellen Page.

3.05am

Superbad's Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill pretend to be Halle Berry and Judi Dench in a comedy stint. It's a shame they're not dressed up for the part, but they're still funny. Kind of. The Bourne Ultimatum wins awards for Sound Editing and Sound Mixing. Two awards? That's just selfish.

3am

The producers are hoping for a younger audience this year, which is why tween queen Miley Cyrus walks on stage. The 15-year-old singing actress does better than Katherine Heigl as she introduces another nominated song from the Disney hit, Enchanted. The dance troupe turn on the cheese for the cameras.

2.55am

Are the award speeches running too short? We've just had a 10-minute educational video on the voting process at the Academy. Dull. The highlight? They show Penelope Cruz's address on the envelope for her ballot paper. It's not her home address, but still. Why?

2.50am

Best Adapted Screenplay goes to the Coen brothers for No Country For Old Men. Well done, lads. They talk slowly and I don't quite catch their witty remarks – but the audience laps it up. Even the moody Cameron Diaz breaks into a smile. Well, for a second anyway.

2.45am

Jessica Alba. Wow. Bet she's gutted she didn't get to present anything decent. She announces the winners of the Technical Awards, which were handed out earlier in the week and then she walks off. She looks good, though.

2.40am

The Best Supporting Actress award goes to Tilda Swinton, who is pretty shocked when her name is announced. She explains her agent has the same buttocks as the Oscar statue, so she's giving her award to him. What a waste.

2.35am

Am I the only person in the world who doesn't find Jerry Seinfeld funny? His Bee Movie character Barry Benson announces the award for the Best Animated Short Film and he's funnier than usual, but not as funny as John Travolta's hair, which is awesome. Peter & The Wolf wins the award, which is great for us Brits as the director Suzie Templeton is a Hampshire girl. Well done.

2.30am

Owen Wilson's nose presents the next award, for Best Short Film. Le Mozarts Des Pickpockets wins. I've not seen it but it looks good.

2.25am

Another musical interlude. This time it's the gospel track Raise It Up from the movie August Rush. Nice. The 11-year-old singer wows the crowds, although Cameron Diaz doesn't look too impressed. Rudeness. Was that a yawn, Cameron?

2.15am

It's time for the Best Supporting Actor to be awarded and it's presented by the first non-size zero of the evening, Jennifer Hudson. Go Jennifer! Javier Bardem wins and he thanks his mum in Spanish. Bless.

2.10am

Cate Blanchett awards the Art Direction Oscar to Sweeney Todd – and Johnny Depp looks well happy in his Ronnie Corbett glasses as he claps away in the audience. Vanessa Paradis looks amazing sitting next to him.

2.05am

Wow. Duane 'The Rock' Johnson has spray-on hair just like John Travolta. Is this a new trend in Hollywood? Maybe he should have a word about wigs with the Visual Effects Academy Award winners from The Golden Compass, to whom he has just presented an award ? I feel sorry for the Transformers crew. They should've won. Robots are way cooler than Nicole Kidman.

2am

Amy Adams sings a soppy song from Enchanted, which is up for Best Song Oscar. She looks like Isla Fisher. Where's Borat when you need him?

1.55am

Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell award the Best Animated Oscar to Brad Bird for Ratatouille. Well deserved, but the music cuts off his speech. Nice. Katherine Heigl is nervous and shaky as she presents the award for Best Achievement in Make-up. Wait a minute... Norbit was actually up for an Oscar? Shocker. What's that all about? Thankfully, La Vie En Rose wins.

1.50am

A slick George Clooney praises the Academy and a nifty montage feature celebrates 80 years of Oscars to the tune of, erm, Celine Dion. Schmalzy, but expected really. Pass the sick bag.

1.45am

Jennifer Garner's appearance on stage marks the end of Jon Stewart's opening act, which is a welcome relief. She awards the first Oscar of the evening to Alexandra Byrne, who has won the Costume Design Academy Award for her work on Elizabeth: The Golden Age. A nice short speech means we can move on swiftly.

1.35am

Here we go! Presenter Jon Stewart's first joke is well received and we've already had a glimpse of John Travolta's dodgy hair. Not a bad start to the night. It's all a bit sincere, but hopefully everyone will loosen up a bit as the show moves forward. Bring on the awards...